Surefire excuse for sprint to send me a new phone

Hi,

My wife seemed to have washed my uniform with what could've been the winning lotto ticket, all my pocket change from the day prior and my most prized possesion my new motored v3. I know theres nothing bada** about these phones and they are a dime a dozen but this was my first clamshell and I really liked it alot. Anyways, I was curious if sprint could give me sh*t about water damage or loss or it being crushed whats the best overall undisputibale excuse to give? It does have some sort of insurance but I don't know whats covered could someone please help me out...

Thanks, .